Asexuality Affirming

Sex Therapy & Coaching

Some people don’t experience sexual attraction at all, or only in certain and limited contexts. This is healthy and normal.

Some asexual people don’t experience any sexual attraction. That doesn’t mean that they can’t experience other forms of attraction, though.

Aside from sexual attraction, you can also experience:

• Platonic attraction: wanting to be friends with someone

• Emotional attraction: wanting an emotional connection with someone

• Romantic attraction: desiring a romantic relationship with someone

• Aesthetic attraction: being attracted to someone based on how they look

• Sensual or physical attraction: wanting to touch, hold, or cuddle someone

It’s possible for asexual people to experience all these forms of attraction.

Things to know about Asexuality

1.    Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction; an asexual, or Ace, is someone who is not sexually attracted to anyone, or has limited sexual attraction in certain circumstances.

2.     Asexuals can be romantically attracted to other people, for example, a biromantic asexual is someone who is not sexually attracted to anyone, but is romantically attracted to males and females.

3.     There are also aromantic asexuals, who are not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone.

4.     Asexuality is a sexual orientation (like homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality, etc.), asexuality is not:

• Celibacy, the decision to refrain from sexual contact, where asexuality is an orientation and there are asexuals who engage in a range of sexual contact with themselves and others

• A mental disorder, such as SAD (sexual aversion disorder) or HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder). While the psychological community as a whole does not recognize asexuality, SAD and HSDD are mental conditions associated with anxiety towards sexual contact. An asexual may feel anxious due to societal pressures and reactions, but not due to the idea of sexual contact. An asexual in short, is just not interested.

• Caused by chemical and/or hormonal imbalance, all research on asexuality, on humans and other species, shows that asexual behavior is not a result of any physical imbalance.

5.     Asexuals are not afraid of intimacy. Many asexuals want and are in relationships, with not only other asexuals, but sexual people as well.

6.     Current statistics suggests that about 1% of the population is asexual, though many experts think that the number may be higher.

7.     There are asexuals who masturbate and enjoy sexually intimacy with others, while not being sexually attracted to anyone or experiencing low attraction.. Every asexual, just like every sexual person, is different and all fall on a wide range of wants and comfort level.

8.     Sadly, there are asexuals who feel out of place and broken, due to the lack of general knowledge concerning asexuality and cultural portrayals of sex and sexuality.

9.     Confused? Don’t worry; asexuality can be just as odd to a sexual person as sexuality can be to an asexual. As long as you are considerate and open minded, questions are more than welcome.

10.  And there are places you can go with said questions:

a.     Asexuality.org, AVEN’s website (Asexual Visibility and Education Network). Not only is this a great place for friends, family, people questioning, and those who are just curious, it also has tons of links to blogs, forums, community sites, etc. about and for asexuals.

b.     Wikipedia or the internet in general. Just type in asexual/ity, ignore the sites about asexual reproduction, and have a ball.

Thanks to queerumich.com for the info!