About Vera

It all started when…

From a young age I have been fascinated by what drives people. I have been curious about people’s deepest desires and insecurities and how they affect a person’s personality and behavior. Due to my shame about my own personal challenges, it took me a while to realize how helpful psychotherapy can be. Once I embraced and accepted help for myself, I realized that I wanted to be a psychotherapist. As I stepped into that role, it became clear that this work meets me in the areas of authentic communication, emotional bonding, relational repair, and creative expression.

I graduated with a Master of Arts in Integral Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) in 2014. I received training in depth-oriented psychotherapy at the Church Street Integral Counseling Center in San Francisco for two years. I am now a member of the Bay Area Gestalt Institute (BAGI). As of 2016, I am licensed in California as a Marriage and Family Therapist.

I have a private practice online (in CA) and in person in Germany.

I grew up in Germany and have lived in the United States since 1996, in San Francisco since 2002. A lot of my personal growth work has been around processing the guilt and shame associated with the history of Germany.

One topic that’s really important to me as a therapist and as a human is oppression and privilege. I spend a lot of time thinking and raising awareness about racism, sexism, heterosexism, etc. Joy DeGruy is one of my biggest heroes in this context.

Refuse to fall down
If you cannot refuse to fall down,
refuse to stay down.
If you cannot refuse to stay down,
lift your heart toward heaven,
and like a hungry beggar,
ask that it be filled.
You may be pushed down.
You may be kept from rising.
But no one can keep you from lifting your heart
toward heaven
only you.
It is in the middle of misery
that so much becomes clear.
The one who says nothing good
came of this,
is not yet listening.
–Clarissa Pinkola Estés

PSYCHOTHERAPY:

The paradox of change

I strongly believe that change is only possible if you fully accept what is happening right now.

Embracing the unknown

Psychotherapy is a step from the now into the unknown. For a moment, you forget what you thought you knew about yourself, life and the world, and see what emerges. The role of the therapist is that of a companion, standing beside you in this process of discovery.

As you discover things about yourself, the world makes more sense to you. Old wounds heal, psychic muscles are toned, and you start to forgive yourself and others. Or you choose not to forgive, and you come to accept that.

New possibilities

You start seeing what’s possible for you in the world of feelings and relationships. The client-therapist relationship allows for reparative emotional experiences and becomes a practice ground for other relationships–with people, yourself, life.

Freud suggested that one of the main criteria for mental health was the ability to love and to work. I do believe that a life in which both of those areas are fulfilling and satisfying is a life worth living. Psychotherapy aims to help you achieve meaning in these areas.

More specifically, the results can be resolving dysfunctional patterns, connecting more deeply with yourself and others, fine-tuning your purpose, improving communication, having a greater sense of ease, and increasing your self-esteem.

I have a special interest in working with people on the following themes:

Shame
Gender Identity
Perfectionism
Grief and loss
Suppressed anger / Rage
Loneliness / Isolation
Boundaries / Saying no
Non-monogamy / Polyamory
Feeling stuck
BDSM
Body image / Self-esteem / Aging
Intergenerational trauma
Empowerment / Overcoming Systematic Oppression / Feminism
Being bicultural or bilingual
Developing one’s voice / Standing up for oneself
Alcoholism in the family / Al-Anon / SLAA / CODA / Other 12-step
Inner child or younger version of self
Denial / Disavowal
Conditioning / Belief systems
Eating Disorders: Anorexia / Bulimia / Binge Eating Disorder (BED) / Avoidant-Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)

EMDR

I also offer EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing), an effective way of resolving trauma. I received my EMDR training from the Parnell Institute. In EMDR we use bilateral stimulation in order to reprocess traumatic memories and heal more fully from them. I don’t actually use eye movements but a combination of handheld tappers and headphones for the bilateral stimulation. While EMDR can be extremely effective, I have found that you have to be ready for its effects, and sometimes it might take some regular talk therapy before EMDR is indicated. When appropriate, EMDR can help remove blocks that keep you from living a full life.

VERA’S APPROACH:

Relational

My approach is client-centered and relational. I strive to meet you where you are and as you are. I place great emphasis on the client-therapist relationship, as I believe it often parallels your experiences in real life.

Logical

With compassion and curiosity I use a logical approach to help you meet your soul’s needs and live your favorite life. I worked in the software industry for many years. Because of this experience I bring a strongly developed logical, problem-solving side to my work. As a former software debugger, I now see myself as a soul debugger. Together we can figure out what you want and how you are interrupting yourself from getting there.

Moment-to-moment tracking

In terms of psychological approaches, I identify as a depth-oriented therapist first and foremost. In our sessions I like to start with awareness in the here and now. Out of this awareness emerge sensations, thoughts and feelings which need to be experienced, digested and integrated into the whole of one’s being. Sometimes integration means not digesting a particular byte of information. Accepting this refusal can also contribute to greater wholeness.

Choice-based

A lot of times a sense of well-being can come from making a clear decision about what you want to do with a particular sensation, thought or feeling. You learn to be and accept who you are, with your likes and dislikes, preferences and resistances. Sometimes, owning the unknown or confusion can be part of this. We can become clear about being confused and make a choice based on this clarity, and that feels good.

Parts work

Another big part of my work is parts work. In parts work, we identify and communicate with different parts of your psyche or personality. Common parts are the inner critic, judge, protector, or fighter. We explore what a dominant part needs. We explore what a hidden part is afraid of. Insights, relief and freedom can emerge from this work.

This much I know for sure: I will be curious about you, I will tell you the truth as I see it, and I don’t fuck around.

The Good Side of the Dark

When I think about
the dark,
I think about
a loud dragon,
as long as a desert.

The dark
makes me feel strong
like I am inside a
pyramid.

Light is inside –
and a rainbow moving
like a wolf.

–JAISHYNE