Meet our Team- Berkeley Couples Therapist & INtimacy Experts




For over a decade, I have been providing therapy to diverse populations. I have successfully helped individuals, couples and families experience healing through therapeutic services such as Individual Therapy, Couples Therapy, Support Groups, Teaching Mindfulness Techniques, and the use of Guided Imagery.

In our work together, attention is brought to what is arising for each client or couple in the present moment. This allows for us to address issues as they are happening, making it easier to identify current thoughts, feelings and somatic experiences. This can offer a deeper awareness of thought patterns, communication dynamics, and common trigger or reaction patterns. As we work together to help expand your awareness of your internal landscape you will begin to find more space around how you choose to respond to what life brings your way. I believe that we all have within us the ability to grow and heal as we tend to old wounds. It has been an honor for me to help my clients heal these old wounds, let go of old stories that no longer serve them and witness previously hidden parts of their true core-self emerge as they live a more joyful and fulfilled life. My clients have described me as having a warm and grounded presence while inviting insightful and creative ways to work through challenging issues.

-Amber Cooley, MFT, California Relationship Centers’ Couples Therapist

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Is Dissociation Interfering With Your Sex Life?

Is Dissociation Interfering With Your Sex Life?

Do you check out or get numb during sex?

Don’t weigh yourself down with despair, guilt or frustration about your sex life and experiences not being as fulfilling as you would like; perhaps consider whether dissocciation is interfering with your sex life.

Seek help with one of our highly qualified San Francisco Bay Area Sexologists, Couples Counselors, Sex Therapists, or Sexual Empowerment Coaches, who can help you begin to learn about, to overcome and heal your dissociative tendencies, so you and your partner(s) may have the sex you always dreamed of.

California Relationship Centers and it’s subdivisions such as North Berkeley Couples Therapy Centers and San Francisco Couples, Intimacy & Sex Therapy Centers can help. We are the Leading Sex Therapy and Couples Therapy Centers in the United States, and we accomplished this by carefully collaborating with the best of the best in this highly specialized field. We Speak Relationship. We Can Help. (510) 982-6401

The Pursuer / Distancer Dynamic in Intimate Relationships: San Francisco Couples Counselors Explain this Negative Relationship Pattern & How to Stop it.

The Pursuer / Distancer Dynamic in Intimate Relationships: San Francisco Couples Counselors Explain this Negative Relationship Pattern & How to Stop it.

 The Pursuer/ Distancer Dynamic in Intimate Relationships: The Most Painful & Dangerous Dynamic is not to be ignored! Our highly specialized expert San Francisco Bay Area Couples Counselors and Sex Therapists can help identify the negative cycle and help you learn more effective communication skills that will lead to deeper connection, trust, security and intimacy. 

Partner Doesn’t Orgasm? 7 Ways Not To Take It Personally! San Francisco Couples & Sex Therapy Center Can Help

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Partner Doesn’t Orgasm?

Seven Ways Not To Take It Personally!

You, like many other people, could be taking it personally when your partner doesn’t come to orgasm during love-making. Are you worried that you’ve done something wrong? Do you wonder if you aren’t pleasing them at all?  Have these frustrations contributed to a fight or a tense moment which has led to a missed opportunity for sexual connection?

Orgasm can be a very elusive for many people.  Our San Francisco Couples Counselors & Sex Therapists see all genders in our therapy practices who report having a difficult time coming to orgasm.  A lot of people are frustrated, angry at themselves, ready to give up hope and pretty depressed about their inability to orgasm during sex.

Orgasms are healthy and wonderful and it’s great for everyone to have them, however, pleasure is the goal in love-making and being frustrated and tense is not the way to go.  When the non-orgasmic person is frustrated and you are frustrated it causes a real lack of possibilities for true pleasure and satisfaction to happen.

Here are some simple ways you can stop taking it personally and enjoy your own body’s pleasure:

  1. It’s not you. While it can be tempting to believe that you have control over your partner’s orgasm it may be truer that their body’s functioning has to do with what’s going on with them, not with you.
  2. Have some patience.  Usually, it’s the person who is unable to achieve orgasm that is suffering more than you. Have patience with them as they go through their emotions.
  3. Ask how they like to be touched.  When tension and frustrations arise it can be easy to neglect healthy communication.  Healthy communication with your partner includes asking them how they like to be touched.  Asking questions like, “what pressure do you like”? “where do you feel the most sensation in your body”? “what type of touch arouses you”?  brings a sense of comfort and curiosity to the dynamic.  Sometimes people are so busy getting to the “finish line” that they forget the journey is the most important part of getting there!
  4. If you are sexually frustrated and can’t be present for your partner, take some time out for yourself and your own pleasure.  If you want your partner to orgasm so much that you are neglecting your own needs, take a break and masturbate! It’s okay to masturbate in front of your partner and it can be sexy too.  Sometimes, taking the pressure off the orgasm of your lover and putting the attention on yourself can break some of the tension.  Then, go back to making out and finding ways to please them.
  5. Engage in some slow, sensual foreplay and massage.  Bring the energy and tension down by going back to the basics.  If everyone is tense and frustrated they are not experiencing pleasure so enjoy some gentle, slow caressing and sensual massage.  Remember, Get Out of Your Head And Into Your Body  (if you want to have great sex).
  6. Enjoy the moment, whatever it takes.  If you are processing verbally and emotionally during sex, don’t.  Take a shower together, give each other acknowledgments and gratitudes, do some breathing together and enjoy each other.  Striving for orgasm and feeling like it’s your fault that you can’t “give” your partner an orgasm is a missed opportunity to simply enjoy each other.
  7. Learn some creative, fun techniques and learn how your partner’s body works.  We are all different and we all come to orgasm is our own unique ways.  For some, they need a little fantasy role-play, others need a little verbal stimulation through “dirty talk”, some peoples bodies take a longer time to warm up and become aroused.   Learn how your partner’s body works as well as a few techniques to help them along the way.

You are in this together and you can be a team! If you feel down about yourself come back to these steps again and again.  There is a lot of good that can happen by letting ourselves off the hook and instead, maintaining a sense of team-work and creativity in the process.

At San Francisco Intimacy & Sex Therapy Center, our highly trained couples and sex therapists have helped hundreds of partners turn their whole relationships around by learning how to be a team when it comes to sex and leaning into the experience of getting to know each other in a whole new way.

Remember, it’s all about Pleasure and you deserve it!


San Francisco Bay Area Sex Therapist & Author: Dr. Anya de Montigny, DHS is a sexuality expert with over 20 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups. Dr. Anya has a Doctor of Human Sexuality (DHS) degree, is a certified sex educator and certified sex coach and was the host of the popular radio show The O Word Sex Talk Radio. Dr. Anya has a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area working with individuals and couples and invites straight and LGBTQ people into her practice. She also teaches adult sex education classes as well as consent & boundaries workshops at Universities and Colleges.